General Hugs
by Greensword101
Summary: Or the one where Poe Dameron wasn't actually referring to Hux as General Hugs.


**Author's Note:** This was originally from my other fic, _Do You Mind?_ , but I decided that this should be a stand alone based on the punchline. Enjoy!

* * *

Poe sighed and spoke into the monitor. "Hi, I'm looking for General Hugs?"

"This is General _Hux_ speaking." Hux snarled. "Tell your precious Commander that –"

"No, I'm looking for General _Hugs_ , have you seen him?"

"This is _Hux_ speaking, not _Hugs_ , your pathetic attempts at mocking me will not work on me, rebel scum!"

"For the last time, I am looking for General _Hugs_!" Poe insisted for the third time. BB-8 _beeped!_ in frustration, "Yeah, I hear ya, buddy."

Hux stared out in the distance, his eyes going blank, "...I don't know if this man is mocking me or actually serious, somebody PLEASE ELABORATE!"

"Perhaps, I could be of assistance." Hux turned around and saw a large white robot resembling a marshmallow with two eyes that were connected, but no mouth. It leaned into his body and pressed against it, glowing a dull red as it did so. "Your body temperature is low."

"Do you mind?!" Hux snapped at the white robot pressing against his body. "I am dealing with war criminals at the moment!"

"I heard that someone was looking for a: General Hugs. I believe that I might be of assistance."

"Really?" The pilot's voice came through the speaker. "That's great! What's your name?"

"Hello," the robot waved one hand in a circular motion, "I am Baymax. Otherwise known as: General Hugs."

Hux stared at the robot. "What."

"Ah, Hugs, great to finally talk to you." Poe couldn't help smiling, grateful that he was able to get in contact with the only friendly enemy in the First Order. "I have a _very_ important message that I need you to give to the First Order."

" _What_."

"I would be delighted at the chance to deliver a message." General Hugs continued. If there was a mouth on it, would it be smiling? Hux thought that was very possible to happen. His voice sounded so…pleasant and calm. It was like the very idea of losing emotional control was impossible. "Are you ready to tell me the message you wish to send?"

"WHAT?!"

General Hugs stared at Hux. "Your heartrate is: elevated. Indicating: distress. Would you like a hug?"

"NO, I WOULD NOT LIKE A HUG!" Hux roared. "I WOULD LIKE YOU TO GET OFF THIS BRIDGE AND END THE TRANSMISSION AT ONCE BEFORE I BLAST YOU INTO SMITHEREENS!"

General Hugs blinked before continuing in the same, calm voice. "I cannot do what you are suggesting, this message must be received first. I also suggest deep breathing exercises, as they will allow your heart rate to decrease and reduce the risk of a: stroke."

Hux sputtered incoherently.

"Yeah, General Hugs?" Poe started, watching the gauge on his radar filled up. "Tell the First Order I wanted to ask Hux something about his mother. Also, tell Tadashi that I have to cancel that reservation on account of the death threats his boss is giving me."

"I will do that. Take care." General Hugs turned to face Hux. "He says that –"

"I _know_ what he said!" Hux snarled, took out his blaster and shot at General Hugs, much to the dismay of many on the bridge. He stared blankly as a high-pitched hissing sound filled the air, no blood or body parts becoming debris.

"Oh no." General Hugs said as his white body deflated like a balloon. "I shall report you to Supreme Leader: Snoke. For attack on an official without: provocation."

Hux screamed until he felt a needle pressed into his arm, and continued to scream more and more weakly as his body sagged into unconsciousness.

 **(0-0)**

 **Author's Note:** Baymax, you cute snowman-penguin-marshmallow hybrid, you. I would love to have you as a friend, but seeing you manage to aggravate Hux with your personality is more amusing. I would be thrilled if anyone were to use the General Hugs joke like what I just did. No explanation for why Baymax is in the First Order needed – maybe Tadashi is a double agent – just let me see Baymax answer to the name of General Hugs in some art format or something. Happy New Year!


End file.
